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Twilight, the condensed version

Sat Jun 7, 2008, 10:36 PM
When I made the Twilight Sucks comic for Head Trip, I had not read more than a few scenes... which I hated and wanted to stab my eyes out. Several oversensitive fangirls who have decided this piece of overrated shit is their entire reason to exist flipped their shit and said I was unfair... but their only defense was that I hadn't read the whole thing. I found this fair, and decided to try and force my way through it.

I almost made it. Got about 80% of the way through and to get that much, I spent the time writing a condensed version of it to keep myself sane.

And now I shall share it with you, especially those of you who want to know what on Earth happens in this piece of crap but don't want to subject yourselves to the horror.

So...

1. Chapter One
2. Chapter Two
3. Chapter Three
4. Chapter Four
5. Chapter Five
6. Chapter Six
7. Chapter Seven
8. Chapter Eight
9. Chapter Nine
10. Chapter Ten
11. Chapter Eleven
12. Chapter Twelve
13. Chapter Thirteen
14. Chapter Fourteen
15. Chapter Fifteen
16. Chapter Sixteen
17. Chapter Seventeen
18. Chapter Eighteen
19. Chapter Nineteen
20. Chapter Twenty
21. Chapter Twenty-one
22. Chapter Twenty-two, etc, The End

And there you have it.

Feel free to comment if you'd like here, there, wherever. Flames will be LOL'd at. A lot. They are appreciated, I promise you.

  • Mood: Devious
  • Watching: Shrek

Devious Comments


im so sorry you had to suffer through that i only made it 3 chapters before i tossed it at my friends who made me read it...btw they are the fangirls who think that its their entire lifes...im ashamed of that *crys*

--
I'm just a stranger, even to myself.
A re-arranger of the proverbial bookshelf.
Don't be a fool girl, tell him you love him.
Don't be a fool girl, you're not above him.
...I...I think I love you.

I thought for a while that I was one of the only ones who completely loathed this series. It's so wonderful to see someone else (who is also female) who hates it just as much as I do.

--
*~* An artist feels too much *~*

~NarakuKagome-FC ~ThePokemonCenter -- JOIN NOW!
Oof - I wasn't able to get past the first chapter of the *condensed* version. Obviously you have more stamina than I do! :D
Alcohol helps. Just a tip. ;)

--
98% of stupid people on this website see a signature involving statistics and repost it into their own to prove a point no one cares about. If you are one of the 2% who doesn't, repost this!
You have just made my day! I hated that book from the very first page.

--
I'm American and I can't get my English right!
Can't drink - metabolism glitch, get extremely ill.

Of course, that might be the side effect of reading _Twilight_ *without* alcohol, so I guess it's a bit of a catch-22 there. :)
Ech... I'm torn between the hilarity of your summarization and the fact that I actually like this book...

--
9 out of 10 women would say that the phrases 'sexy' and 'Rainn Wilson' don't mix. I'm not one of them.

Proud EdwardxJacob shipper. The sexiest couple to never exsist.
Nice, thats awesome, and I'm a fan of Twilight but personally I love it when people make spoofs/fun of it.

Good Job XD
rofl they might actually cancel each other out XD XD XD

--
98% of stupid people on this website see a signature involving statistics and repost it into their own to prove a point no one cares about. If you are one of the 2% who doesn't, repost this!
YEEES.
This makes me so happy. Seriously. :love:

--
"The worst thing about prison was the dementors. They were flyin' all over the place and they were scary and then they come down and suck the soul outta your body and it HOITS!"

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