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Submitted on
March 1, 2004
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Ode To Bad Fanfiction 2 by shinga Ode To Bad Fanfiction 2 by shinga
Ok, so I had to do another one... who knows, maybe I'll make a whole series of these artistic cop-outs!

Anyway, we ALL know how bad Harry Potter fan fics... hell, FANS... can be. Don't get me wrong, I love the books, and I've written my share of fanfiction(though I always try to avoid to stereotypical). Good HP fanfic is hard to come by... but when you find it, its well worth it.

Unfortunately, its the millions of fics that taste of bile that you have to weed through that discourages even the most avid fanfic readers. The horrible Mary-Sues have taken the HP fandom by storm and won't go away, no matter how many exterminators we try to call. Even the Ghostbusters ran screaming.

The most common Mary Sue problems: Exchange student(from America 99.9% of the time), flawless, beautiful, some object or just natural talent of extreme power, Gryffindor, Harry's(or Sirius', or Remus', or Oliver's...) love interest, and Voldemort's daughter. I'll admit I have a character who's related to the Dark Lord, but not so directly, and it was actually a pretty damn good connection if I say so myself.

So, here then. I'm mocking Mary-Sue, bad crossovers(Hellsing, anyone? Mmm, Alucard...), and the evils of self-insertion(writers, please don't do this... or if you do, make sure you're actually as interesting as you insist you are). Also, the stereotypical Clueless!Harry. Even I've written him once or twice.

Oh, I almost forgot to mention the 1337 speak! Ah, teh evilz.
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MrGamerGirl Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
You, my dear Alucard, are a hero. The truth has been made very clear today.

You deserve a hug! APH Prussia tackle hug 
CarmaBainBentley Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2013
Not to mention the absolutely worthless Hellsing fics. And the ones that never update. and the ones with reeeally long auther notes. or the ones with author not chapters. or the ones that are really good, and then they go and do something so stupid that you're like "why the HELL would ANYONE do that!!" Oh well. Hellsing ftw.
MusicIsMyLife7 Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2012  Student Artist
HP + Alucard + your art = EPIC!
kilian777 Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2012
"good job Alucard" she said to her kawaii waifu "my anti-sue plan is complete. Now you and I, Darkness Hellcharity Murder Monroe, can be super vampires with similar powers and totally, date. i sure hope the fact that I'm also in love with everyone in the Escariot foundation doesn't come in conflict with this" that's how this should have ended.
BuffaloBorgine Featured By Owner Jul 20, 2012
LOL! Alucard always appears in this situation!
UNTAMEDelegance Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2012
HAHA! This was so funny! Actually it made me laugh even more because I *do* have a scar in the middle of my forehead, but it's just straight and, unfortunately, it's not from my defeat of a dark lord. It's from sledding into a wooden picnic table one winter!!! XD
Black-Rose01 Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2012
I'd imagine that since Hogwarts is a school for British Wizards and Witches then there's probably a few schools in America for the kids there. I hate when American fanfic writers try to insert American characters into the British Hogwarts. If you can't right a British character then you shouldn't write a story that takes place in Britian!

This just bugs me so much!
eitherangel Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2012
Whats your opinion on the Goth-Sues!? The polar opposite to lady perfect Mary-Sue?
transparent-soul Featured By Owner May 12, 2012
I'm just cringing mentally at the thought of Mary Sues.
tattooedviolin Featured By Owner Apr 7, 2012
and this is why i just stick to couples that do NOT include OCs unless i am reaaaaalllllly bored, and need my brain to be sludgified for a while. (especially after precalculus)
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