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(Contains: sexual themes)
I seriously did not anticipate ever doing another comic about Twilight, since I figured the two I did pretty much covered my thoughts. Then I got a bit tipsy around some friends and we ended up having a conversation about this exact thing, and I couldn't help myself. Mostly because as of the Sunday of that week I had no other ideas for Monday's comic so I resorted to this one.

(Cue 800 angry fangirls pretending Twilight has science and trying to explain why exactly a cold penis = okay)
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:iconspeedracerdude511:
speedracerdude511 Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2013  Hobbyist
If you're going to want to have sex with something that has cold junk, and no pulse you're gonna have a bad time
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:iconxx-cake-xx:
Xx-Cake-xX Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
How does the blood flow?  No pulse...no blood flow...no boner.. 

No logic.

Reply
:iconspeedracerdude511:
speedracerdude511 Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2014  Hobbyist
and No ramsis... sorry Rihanna.... sorry Ricotta... no Remesneeze... hmm AH Renesme that's it!... SERIOUSLY WHO NAMES THEIR KID THAT??????
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:iconxx-cake-xx:
Xx-Cake-xX Featured By Owner Jan 13, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I know right...imagine being in kindergarten and trying to spell your name. I would cry!
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:iconspeedracerdude511:
speedracerdude511 Featured By Owner Jan 13, 2014  Hobbyist
yeah there was a great stamp it said "Albus Severous Potter is still a better name than Renesmee" :D
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:iconxx-cake-xx:
Xx-Cake-xX Featured By Owner Jan 13, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Yes rofl :D
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:iconspeedracerdude511:
speedracerdude511 Featured By Owner Jan 13, 2014  Hobbyist
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconlyssana11:
Lyssana11 Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2014  Student General Artist
Exactly! lol
Reply
:iconspeedracerdude511:
speedracerdude511 Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2014  Hobbyist
If you're think that the vampires from twilight are actual vampires... you're gonna have a bad time
Reply
:iconlyssana11:
Lyssana11 Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2014  Student General Artist
If you believe that Twilight is actual literature ..you're gonna have a bad time.


:D
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:iconspeedracerdude511:
speedracerdude511 Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2014  Hobbyist
If you talk one more time about how you're going to marry someone just like Edward one day, and how Bella is such a strong independent character, and definetly NOT a Marry Sue..... I WILL :iconcensoredplz:ing CURBSTOMP YOU AND THAT FRIGGIN BOOK OF YOURS :iconrageplz:
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:iconlyssana11:
Lyssana11 Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2014  Student General Artist
lmao!!!! You are so funny!

What is Marry-Sue though?
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(2 Replies)
:iconspeedracerdude511:
speedracerdude511 Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2014  Hobbyist
It's kind of hard to explain... it's like when you write a fanfiction or something and you have a character who is super bland or able to solve everything and has no faults... or both... it'd probably be easier to look up :) therefor Bella is a Mary Sue character and Edward is a Mary Stu (male mary sue)
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(1 Reply)
:icontaku-chan13:
Taku-chan13 Featured By Owner Oct 14, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
But technically 'Dear Edward' couldn't even have gotten a hardon because no blood.

People Who Understand the Fundamentals of Good Literature: 1204759879488974986907801943
Cullen-Cultists: 0
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:iconxx-cake-xx:
Xx-Cake-xX Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
THANK YOU!!!!!
Reply
:icontaku-chan13:
Taku-chan13 Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
xD You're welcome! 
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:iconbryanadkins:
bryanadkins Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2012
You know who I feel sorry for? Bella's dad.
Reply
:iconbryanadkins:
bryanadkins Featured By Owner Sep 15, 2012
no no! bella should be face deep in the wall, because edward blows like a shotgun.
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:iconxx-cake-xx:
Xx-Cake-xX Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
ROFL!!
Reply
:iconbryanadkins:
bryanadkins Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2014
Seriously man of steel woman of kleenex look it up.
Reply
:icongphoenix:
GPhoenix Featured By Owner Sep 9, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Oh, good laugh at 01:48 AM lol Just what I needed before bed. Only thing I don't think is right is that... Bella has a facial expression! XD Great job! Panel two just remembered me about the Sims 2, it sort of looks like that when they woohoo and the female/male gets pregnant ;)
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:iconmarziyyih:
marziyyih Featured By Owner Sep 3, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
OMG She can smile! No!~
Reply
:iconflyingmintscones:
flyingmintscones Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Lol. XD
Reply
:iconkyoko-li:
Kyoko-Li Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
That was the first thing I wondered about when I read that part of the book. XD
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:iconsuperseaxxycupcake:
SuperSeaxxyCupcake Featured By Owner Jul 31, 2012
HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! XD
Reply
:icongoldengirl954:
GoldenGirl954 Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2012
Lol :D
Reply
:iconvaliantshadow:
ValiantShadow Featured By Owner May 31, 2012  Student General Artist
Ahahaha!!!!
Reply
:iconslashfirestorm:
slashfirestorm Featured By Owner May 27, 2012
Fucking brilliant.
Reply
:iconmeghan13542:
meghan13542 Featured By Owner Apr 26, 2012  Student Writer
bella dosen't smile. She has no feelings.
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:iconxx-cake-xx:
Xx-Cake-xX Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
ikr!
Reply
:iconnoneofurbussiness:
noneofurbussiness Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2012
Wow...I never thought of that before...its a tad concerning lol
Reply
:iconpointeful:
Pointeful Featured By Owner Mar 24, 2012
So you hate forks, huh BELLA?
:fork:
MWAHAHAHA!
:D
This is too hillarious. xD
Reply
:iconzthedoomypirate:
ZtheDoomyPirate Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Twilight is a guilty pleasure for me, but no, this WOULD NOT WORK.

Unless Bella is a serious kinkster...It's been known to happen...
Reply
:iconfiredanceryote:
firedanceryote Featured By Owner Feb 14, 2012  Professional General Artist
*dies laughing* I know there are those out there who do find a cold phallic object sexy.... but dude, ain't nothing hot about a cold dick. Pun intended there ;)
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:iconzhaneaugustine:
ZhaneAugustine Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2012
lmao
Reply
:iconladyrdo:
LadyRdo Featured By Owner Jan 28, 2012
I giggled so hard, but then I thought "Would Bella even think of that?"

So then I giggled even more.
Reply
:iconfruitbat2011:
FruitBat2011 Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2012
*laughing too hard to type*
Reply
:icongigapipen1407:
GigaPipen1407 Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Oooohhhh man :XD:
Reply
:iconryuicefox:
RyuIcefox Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2011  Student Digital Artist
oh XD
Reply
:icongabriellelba:
gabriellelba Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2011  Student Artist
my theory is that venom kind've acts as their blood, so maybe the venom got his dick up. sorry for the crude word.
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:iconboorat:
BooRat Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2011
:rofl:
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:iconmajorit:
MajorIT Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2011  Student Digital Artist
I...I never understood...how a vampire, being dead, could..get it up...You need blood.

Unless we're viagra for vampires.
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:iconicequeenofmitera:
IceQueenofMitera Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
That just made my day
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:iconmadpredator:
Madpredator Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2011
please, continue this type of things
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:iconthorn-blackheart:
Thorn-Blackheart Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
I hate twilight i literally Gag at the new Movies or the sight of the actors and the stupid books vampires DONT sparkle in sunlight Dammit! They Explode......LIke a Dusty Bottle rocket !!
Reply
:iconrandompersoninurbush:
Randompersoninurbush Featured By Owner Oct 26, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
BHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
Reply
:iconandalitexd:
AndaliteXD Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
LOL i never thought of that!! XD and i like Twilight. Hate the movies, like... the books. would much rather fangirl over Harry Potter.
Reply
:iconsillylostoldprofile:
sillylostoldprofile Featured By Owner Oct 18, 2011
Every single time someone tries to explain to me why this stupid series is original, a love story for all ages, like totally awesome, or whatever... I can't keep myself from responding..."HE RAPES HER!!! DEMON BABY WANTS TO KILL HER... EX-BF HAS HOTS FOR AN INFANT".... yep, twilight is super amazing
Reply
:iconnoneofurbussiness:
noneofurbussiness Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2012
wait what?!?! 0.o (I refuse to read them or watch them..but this could prove to be some good ammo)
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October 4, 2010
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